Fights and sickness

Well I love Fridays because for whatever reason, the kids are on their best behavior. We learned how to properly take tests and we had our lockdown and tornado drill. The kids were surprisingly mature especially when I talked about how we would have to use a bucket as a toilet. I know right but it is a district policy to explain everything. The only time they laughed is when we were talking about what would happen if they were in the bathroom when it happened. I was very impressed and after 3 times, we perfected it. I corrected their tests and they did horribly. Granted, I didn't begin this unit with them but oh my goodness I have a lot of work to do.

I had to go over my really bad observation yesterday, today and well let's just say, I felt like a terrible person. I found out that I scored so poorly and it goes in my permanent file. They said they would take in account that it is my 2nd week teaching and that I did not have time to teach procedures. Whatever, I am getting a cold so I really was not in the mood to find out what I did wrong. I then realized that I am in an adult job and evaluations are a part of any job. I was defensive but I decided to suck it up and keep it to myself. I accepted responsibility, promised I would try harder and she said she would come back next week. I didn't want to say anything but she didn't tell me when she was coming, like she said she would.

Then I planned as a team and I found out that our team is divided, has issues with each other and had a full on fight today. Everyone is feeling overwhelmed and tempers are getting hot. I just tried to mediate and hear each member vent. Then I went and locked myself in my classroom and just cried. I think I am just blowing everything out of proportion and taking everything seriously because I am sick. I just feel like I am working hard and getting nowhere. I am there until 9 or 10 every night and still got a bad observation rating.

Today was just a bad day for me (my students were near perfect especially my hardest student) Teachers say that some days are like that even after many years of teaching.