Graduation and packing up

I realized that I did not wrap things up on this blog. I had surprisingly most people show up for the last day of school. Since I highly believe in structure and order, we still followed a fairly normal day. While other classes were cleaning and playing games, mean Miss Newbold made her class work and I still taught the curriculum. No they did not have desks but we just used boards and pencils. They worked on science probability, they wrote their graduation speeches as we did a web/chart of reflection, we shared favorite times and stories and we practiced for graduation. 


It was the last day of school and some of my blessed kids did not still understand how to listen and follow directions. I told them that just because it is the last day, they still will clip down if they make a mistake and I will not be afraid to say it in front of their parents. So lets just say, I was not a happy camper and yelled at my first ever student. I later apologized and felt horrible that I had lost it like that. I finally told them that they were not going to recess until they got this down perfectly. We practiced where to sit, how to stand with and without the homemade caps, the song we sang, etc... We eventually got it down and then like a crazy movie director, I wanted it "from the top" again. Haha we got it down and only 1/2 of the class was ticked off at me by recess:) I played with all of them one last time at recess.


Then we went to the longest award ceremony of my life. It was only supposed to take 15 min but instead it took an hour all the way to lunch. My students with ADHD were so bored that I had to keep sending them out to get drinks. I was overall very proud of my students, for the most part, they all sat quietly and were very respectful. We finally did it! True it was the last day of school but we finally did it! After lunch, I put on a few short movies until parents started to arrive, while I got the refreshments ready (cookies and juice). Then I told my students to get a drink, use the restroom and silently read until their parents came. At that point, they could greet their parents and give them a program.


When most of the parents were there, I had my students line up with their caps on and I played, "Pomp and Circumstance" while they came in and sat down (thank heavens perfectly). I then welcomed everyone. We had such a huge turnout! There even were fathers that took the day off to see their students. I unfortunately did have four students with no representation:( Then we had our Valedictorian and Salutatorian give their speeches. Oh they were so cute. Then my class sang a song that they had been practicing, very well. Then I gave my little speech on how the year had gone, some goals that were accomplished and how I loved being their teacher. Then I gave out individualized awards, diplomas, lunch certificates, plaques with their pictures and their final report cards. Then I told them thanks again, showed them where the refreshments were, said goodbye individually to each of them, got pics with them and let their parents take them home. Oh they also gave me oodles of presents and hugs. One of my hardest students gave me a dozen roses with a sweet, heart-wrenching, "Miss Newbold I will never forget you." 


I then packed up my classroom, said goodbye and left. It has not hit me yet. I just hope they make good choices in life.

Wish me luck!

My new license came! I am in charge of graduation, packing, moving, cleaning, etc... all before 5 p.m. At least my family is coming to help.

What a week!

Update from the rest of the week... (so it will be random and out of order:)


Well we had field day in nearly the rain. Poor kids (pobricitos) they were literally crying (only the boys...go figure) from being wet and cold. I was mean and said, "that is why I said to bring extra clothes." I then grew a heart and let them call for more clothes. Aye aye they don't think that it is important to listen until it makes them unhappy. Like today, I asked the kids how many of their parents are coming tomorrow for graduation. I had a student that literally accused me of not giving him a graduation announcement and then demanded that I make another one (as if I have time). I shortly corrected that behavior and said, "umm excuse me, when I tell you to take it home, I don't say it because I like to hear myself talk, I say it because it is important." Then he said the cutest thing, "I made an incorrect choice, didn't I." I agreed and then at that moment, I felt very proud and accomplished. I obviously did not get through to him with listening or being responsible, but I taught him about good choices and bad choices. That is a skill that will serve him the rest of his life.


We also decided to go on a "walking field trip" to the park next door for the last hour of school. Everyone else played. My little go-getters decided to serve the community and pick up trash. I was so proud of them! I had my exit interview and gave my boss a collage we made for her in the shape of a crown. We called her "queen of the school." She looked like she was going to cry. I guess she noticed our relationship went southward after the whole JPAS incident too. This week, we are trying to rebuild it but it is difficult after such a blow to it. I can now pass her and say hi, instead of just a nod. She thinks I hate her, which makes me sad. I don't hate her, I just hate how she dealt with the situation, the situation that made my life a living he.. It is hard to say the least to go from a friend to an enemy and then try to get back up to the friend stage. Forgiveness is hard especially when the person that has wronged you is so close to you.


I finished their report cards and all of their stuff for graduation. For their diplomas, my intern and I glued plastic red bowls on a piece of square cardstock and then made tassels. They are super cute but boy were those tassels a pain. Thank heavens for my intern who does most of my prep work while I teach. Then I rolled up their diplomas like the old fashioned ones and secured it with a string. Then I printed out individualized awards for them from Lakeshore award maker in color. I also bought cookies and punch. I hope everything goes well tomorrow.


I have been such a witchy teacher this week and feel bad about it. I am so stressed and I am taking it out on them. Not that they don't deserve it acting how they have been lately, but my patience level is hanging by a thread. Let's just say, I am getting after them more and yet they still think I am nice and want to hug me every few seconds. I apologized to them but I still feel bad. Cleaning out desks was a nightmare and chaos. To be honest, I did not know if I had all of my kids at any given time because I was so busy cleaning.


We did Father's Day gifts because we spent so much effort on Mother's Day. I almost did not do anything because only a handful of my students actually live with their fathers. Some of their fathers left them when they were little, were murdered, died in horrific ways, or are in jail. I felt it was right but to be sensitive. So beforehand, I talked about different types of fathers you could have: grandfathers, angel fathers, etc... I did have unfortunately a lot of crying. It is so weird, I can be teaching, having a great day and then I will have a student that will just randomly start bawling because they miss their dead parent. I feel horrible. I just hug them and calm them down and tell them that we can talk during recess. First graders especially should not have to go through this. I just pray Heavenly Father will give them the strength they need. I had another girl today get mad and yell, "My dad is dead!" I comforted her and told her that she could make it for him anyway and read it to him outloud or she could choose her grandfather. I had others that flat out refused to do the book. We also made tie and shirt cards. What a year it has been and it is not over yet!

A surprise and PTCs

I was told yesterday that my application to renew my license was denied. So I had to meet with my boss, who was not happy about it. Then had to call the state and they yelled at me and made me feel horrible. How was I supposed to know that when they met my supervisor, they meant her supervisor. Anyway, after paying a fortune to overnight it, taking my prep time to take care of everything, they should be sending my license within the week. What a horrible surprise!

I then had PTCs. All of them came but 5. I had my 3 Spanish conferences and they were so much easier this time. I listened to myself talk and I am talking faster and better. I love how we can understand each other. I still understand better than I speak but it is coming. They love how I can speak and understand it so much that they vent all of their problems to me about everything from the school to their child not doing chores, etc... I just sit there listening understanding 95% of the conversation and not knowing what they want me to do.

Sweet kids and conferences

So I watched a video that my students made for me. It is so sweet! I wanted to cry. I watched it with the rest of the faculty. My class was the only class that had all of them say something positive. The other classes were very disrespectful and gave negative responses. I felt like the most amazing teacher ever at that moment. What a nice sendoff present from my students. They have been amazing with behavior and everything, which will make it even harder to leave them in 8 days. I am not looking forward to saying goodbye to them. I cry just thinking about it.


Oh and sidenote: I got a babysittee student today. Basically parents want free babysitting so they enroll their student into school to get it. He is high but behaviorally very hard. Uhh why me! They told me it was my turn to get a new student but that is not true. Oh well, I will only be with him for 8 more days. 

Overall a good, productive day

After coming back from having food poisoning (haha even the cafeteria is trying to get rid of me), I expected my kids to be awful like before. Well they were not on their best behavior, the sub said they were terrible, and I was mean. However, surprisingly we got a lot accomplished. We got all of our Mother's Day activities done. Oh to be a fly on the wall when their mom's open their gifts that they made on Sunday. They are so cute:)) They made hand print pictures, homemade books, and butterfly magnets with their pictures on it. They will wrap them tomorrow.


The day started off crazy. It started out with their sub complaining about them for 20 min. Then a hard student of mine ran and gave me the biggest hug. I almost cried. Then right after we corrected bell work, they had a fire drill. I got nailed for not turning out the lights. In a fire, who cares about the lights? Then or before that, I had a student vomit and the office would not call her parents. So in the middle of my teaching, I went over their heads and called her parents. Before I got anything done, it was time for recess, where I had half of my students inside. After recess, we finished our Mother's Day stuff. After lunch, it was attempted silent reading where I read with a few lower kids. Then we watched "Yeh Shen" or Chinese Cinderella for 30min. while they made their own magical fish. They loved them but they turned into teacher projects instead of kid projects. Then it was recess. I now have more duties and hardly any breaks. We finished our projects and did math. My boss walked in and the students were all engaged, quietly working. It was great!


The teacher next to me that has been teaching forever, is getting observed as well. She wants to resign as well. I talked to her before she took a student that the parents requested not be in my class anymore. She is having troubles with him as well. I hate to say it, but that made me feel very good.

I am tired

Ok so it has been almost a week since I wrote last. I am just tired. I am tired of having no support from my administration. I am tired to working my tail off trying to renew my license only to have a two second signature from my boss. I am tired of my class acting like the world owes them a living. I am tired of having my breaks taken away so I can babysit my class. I am tired of being treated like a criminal. Today I got food poisoning and they would not get me a sub so I had to teach and visit the bathroom. Luckily after completing emptying out my system, I kept on teaching. Luckily, besides dehydration I felt better. 


A few days ago, I met my replacement. It is the not a happy feeling knowing that you can be easily replaced. There is 13 more days and part of me is thrilled... a large part of me because then this will all be over. However, another part of me is upset and not ready to say goodbye to my children. They are pains in my behind but they are my pains. I love them and I feel so fortunate to be there teacher. Yes, they are challenging and my very high patience level gets thinner everyday. I don't like the person I am with them because I see all of my mistakes. However, I love it so much and I have learned so much about myself this year than any other year. I may never know why I felt that I needed to take over this class in the middle of nowhere, where I did not know a soul, this year and at this time. I am so grateful for it though and would not trade it for the world. I felt this way at the last transfer of my mission. This is crunch time. Before I left my mission, I remember not wanting it to end and then it did end super fast. That is how I feel now.


Anyway, we are working on Mother's Day stuff all of this week. They are making Coffee Filter Butterfly magnets for Mother's Day. They are turning out so cute! I wish I could be a fly on the wall when their mother's open their gifts.

20 more days!

Only 20 more days of working at Uintah School District. I found out that I started with 4 students on grade level in reading and now I have 9 and two are only 1 point off. While I would love my entire class, more than doubling is progress!! I also pre-tested them on math and they all did so well. They are ready for second grade. I am going to miss them so much and yet I am excited that I only have 20 more days with them..confuses me as well. The new seating arrangement is going well. I am just so busy these days! Oh and I got the opportunity to evaluate the person who is one of the reasons I resigned. My first thoughts were be malicious, slam her like she did me. Nevertheless I went the better way and was honest. Then she took away some of my re-licensure points. I think she does not want me to ever teach again. Anyway, 20 more days is all that I can say.

New seating

So my kids acted horrible (along with most of the other first grade classes) but surprisingly we got a lot done and they are so smart! They nearly made their music teacher cry. She said she screamed and they still would not stop talking! So I was lecturing them on respect when the PTA came in to do observations. Basically they take your kids for 20 minutes, kick you out and ask the kids to evaluate you. Yep haha after my not-so-very-nice lecture, my class gets to observe me. I never have good timing. Haha! The best part was I was aloud to take a 20 min nap--yes a nap! Heavenly was a great word to describe it. I finished out the day and then we all just complained. So now I have all rows that are separated. I hate teaching this way. Uhh if only we could just have fun and not have to do this, I would enjoy my last few weeks with them.

Oh well tomorrow is another day:)

Moving on and having fun

So I am trying to have fun with my kids and cherish the less than 5 weeks I have with them. I am avoiding the administration at all costs and when it is unavoidable, I say hi as if we are best friends. The problem is, is people are now starting to talk so I get it brought up over and over again. I received very sweet letters of recommendation today that made me nearly cry. Today was a good day. We finished reading testing and they did very well. We also took pics of what a good line looks like, etc... and completed looks like/sounds like charts. Overall it was a really productive day. After school, I found out some good news. I visited the dreaded district office. I viewed my personnel file which looked good. I got my fingerprints to renew my license completed. I found out that if I resign from this district (which I did) that I can still get my level 2 license in 2 yrs instead of 3. I also discovered that a bad JPAS is 9/10 times never asked for. So good news today. Tomorrow I have a very important meeting that I am so nervous about. 2 against 1 again. Oh goody.


On to write lesson plans. G'night

Fridays are my relief

Well I turned in my resignation letter this morning (Friday). It felt weird but liberating. I got the standard, "thanks and good luck in your future endeavors," speech. I felt like I can just relax, have fun, be a good teacher: everything before this whole endeavor happened. My caseworker said that she would like to present my case to a higher power and say that my district has to say something nice whenever anyone calls regarding me--some kind of legal document that is going to be included. I had no idea they could do that. It is so liberating to have an attorney and caseworker on your side.

As for work: my class was great! We got everything done and I loved the day. Now on to finding a new job.

Early morning results

So the union let me know that there is nothing that they can do because of one letter loophole in the district policy. They all agreed that it was rude, unprofessional, but not illegal. The attorney thought he or she found something that would work and then discovered another loophole. My district really covered themselves. They did just enough not to get in trouble. So the advice they gave me is to keep my chin up and resign from the district. So I am going to be in that process soon. I have some other job leads. The hard part will be letting my boss know.

Too horrible for a title

Ok, I think I have calmed down a little to at least discuss it. So I had my meeting with my JPAS evaluator and my principal. I felt like I was a lamb about to become slaughtered or about to go to the electric chair.  I actually was humming, "Lamb to the Slaughter," from the Nashville Tribute to the Prophet Joseph Smith CD as I was walking down to hear my fate/sentencing. I went in and they were being really nice, which is never a good sign with administration. They told me that I failed JPAS and that they could give me another chance but the district has decided against it. They also told me that I won't be able to upgrade in licenses or apply to grad school this summer. I just sat there wishing I was getting a root canal, surgery or anything else but being here. I was informed that my job is in question as well as all future jobs because no one wants to hire someone who fails JPAS. Only the really bad teachers fail JPAS. You know the ones that come late, don't prepare anything, etc... Yeah those ones. I failed worse than them. Nothing positive was told to me. I went from an 89% to about a 12%. I was then forced to make goals and sign it. I was then told I could contest it. I had my head down and left not at all happy. My dream of teaching was slowly dwindling away. The worst part was because I am a first year teacher,  I have no rights. I tried to say I was sick, etc... but they thought they were all excuses. Ok fine, I failed I get it. What I don't get is why I am not being offered another chance?

Yesterday...
I decided to contest it. So I filled out the paperwork to contest it and had a long meeting alone with my principal. I told her that I did not think it was fair and I am frustrated. She listened and told me she would ask why I am not being offered another chance. So I continued on the day. We had a field trip to Lowe's and to the Library. It was my first ever field trip with my own class. I was so sick. I had not eaten or slept for I don't know how many hours. I felt nauseous and was dry heaving. I couldn't throw up because I had not eaten anything. Plus, I would start crying random times of the day. I asked a parent if she could stay with me all day long not giving a reason. The reason was so that she could stay with them while I left to cry. I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I got through the day thanks to that parent and attended a meeting with my mentor. I vented and cried with her. I then asked my boss what the reason was for not offering me another chance. She said simply that they don't have to and they are not. She also told me that they don't have to offer me a reason. What a load of garbage! I literally hung my head down and told her thanks anyway. Then I decided to go to my union representative and they sent me to a caseworker that is deciding if they can win my case. Finally a twinge of hope.

All I want to do is teach. I am most likely putting in my resignation in the next few weeks.

Blindsided

So I had a really good day with the kids acting well. My hardest child told me that today was his last day.  While he was so hard, I will miss him. We have come so far. He would not let go of my hand the entire day practically and told me that he will never forget me and that he loves me. I hugged him and basically let him play computer games all day so there was no way he could get in trouble. Hey I wanted him to end on a good note. Then my parent volunteers gave my class an egg hunt. It was a great day! Then after I dropped my kids in, I walked into my classroom to find my boss wanting to talk to me. 


She was not smiling or anything. I instantly felt sick. What did I do? She asks me to sit. She explains that there will not be a few more requirements for me. I now have to give her daily lesson plans to fix and objectives for everything that I teach. I felt like I was in trouble. They only do this for people when they are not satisfied with your performance. I began to get a migraine and get very sick. So I just sat there, took the what I felt was punishment and said OK like I was in trouble. She did not tell me any of the specifics. I asked if this is because of JPAS and she said she does not think I passed. All I heard was, "You are a failure" in my mind no matter what she said. I tried to sound grateful and professional, was I was mad. How dare they hold me to the same standards as someone who had taught for 4 mo. longer and had procedures established. How dare they get me in trouble for teaching sick. I was mad and angry. So I just sat and stared and cried. I cried for hours straight and went to bed. They told me all would be decided when I returned back from Spring Break. So instead of starting Spring Break today, I had to postpone my plans. Life sucks!


P.S. I woke up today and felt a little better. I decided to arrange a meeting with my boss and defend myself and get some things clarified. I used the excuse that I had a migraine and did not feel like talking yesterday but I want to talk. She agreed for when I get back to have an informal meeting. Hopefully I will have a job when I get back.

Good and Sad News!

Ok so I had a parent come in and stay with her difficult student. After 3 hours, she was like, "I am finished, I can't take it any longer." I was thinking to myself, "I get to deal with your little angel 7 hours a day/ 5 days a week and I can't say I am done. So she decided to home school him if this is the behavior that he gives me everyday. It is funny after all of the calls home, notes, etc.. until she witnessed it for herself, she did not believe it.

More changes

So an update on Thursday and Friday. Pinkeye is going around my classroom so we spent 15 min cleaning and sanitizing the room. Hey it stopped the stomach flu. Hopefully I won't get it until at least after Mon. I find out if I passed JPAS on Monday with my meeting with my boss and the other principal. I am so nervous for that meeting. I have been so busy with grad school stuff and trying to stay afloat. We as a team held a meeting to discuss one of my students that I cannot handle. We are going to try an alarm and self checker system. Maybe that will work. I am willing to try anything. I had another meeting with my boss to discuss it but she seamed more overwhelmed than I did and sort-of blew me off. I feel like I should be able to handle this by myself but I cannot. When I asked one of the teachers to take her for a day to see if it is me, no one volunteered. 

Oh and after school, I was asked to move to the 4th grade next year. I am still in shock. I think it will be a good change but I have spent a lot of time and energy on first grade and don't really want to box it up. I also am having my sweet new student replaced with a hard student that only speaks Spanish. I don't mind having the crumbled up piece of paper students that I get to mold into a masterpiece. However, just once I would like to already have a masterpiece that I can enjoy and not have to stress over. Only three days to my two-week vacation.:))

Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today was horrible! We could not sit still, stop talking, etc... I wanted to scream, cry, and pull out my hair. Thank heavens I only had one observation and I think it went well. I had 21/22 kids and it was tough! Then they told me I have to document pretty much everything I do with the kids in this huge binder daily. Sure lets add one more on to my plate. To add to the day, one of the lunch workers yelled at me in front of my students for not having my kids in order. Not just raised her voice but yelled. I wanted to cry. Whenever I was student teaching and I had a hard day, my cooperating teacher would say, start the next day with a book and explain that we all had a bad day but that does not mean today cannot be great. Reevaluate goals and don't focus on the day before. It is great advice. So tomorrow, I am going to read, "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very, Bad Day." I just hope it is not a bad week.

A near-perfect day:))

Wow where do I begin. My new student is amazing! She is the sweetest child and already loves me. My class welcomed her in with open arms and treated her like she had been here the whole time. I love my class! Twenty-two first graders is a lot of work but 5 went home sick and two were already home sick so it was a great day. I feel bad to say that my day goes better when certain students are not there but it does. I love all of my students equally but some students are just easier. I love them more when they make my life easier, not harder. However, I love finding a solution to my tough kid's problems and seeing how much they have grown.

Anyway, I found some newspapers in the recycle bin and I thought that my students would enjoy learning about current events (praying there was not bad pics or bad stories in them:) Oh my goodness, I have never seen first graders so excited. It was like I told them I am taking them all to Disneyland. Seriously, they were showing me the weather, their spelling words in them, the funnies, the ads, etc... It was awesome to see them see a newspaper, many, for the first time. It was Christmas in our classroom! They even chose their writing prompts from the newspaper.

The music teacher cancelled music and did not tell anyone. I would not have cared except that is when I eat lunch because I had lunch duty. So I borrowed a movie, had someone watch my class, and ate lunch. Thank heavens I did because right after that, we had visitors.Yep, I had an inclination that I would be JPASed during writing so to be prepared. Well I was and it went very well. Well I feel it did. I am amazed at those times when I feel like an evaluation went well and the evaluator disagrees. I find out next Mon so we will see.

I was so impressed with my kids that they earned, get this...82 compliments! They acted very well while I was getting JPASed. Plus, my intern was in the room helping out with my last hardest kid! It went very well. Hopefully my bad JPAS when I was sick can be countered with this good JPAS. Favorite quote of the day, "Miss Newbold, Mrs._______ and Mr._________ were whispering that we were acting so good." I rewarded them by letting them play math centers until the end of the day. So if I still get evaluated daily then ok but if not, that is ok too. I am definitely being watched over:)

Another new student and more responsibilities

Well today was a pretty good day. The kids were pretty good right up until the end of the day. My three hardest kids were reduced to 1 hard kid. At the end of the day, I was told I would be getting another student. What!? I just got a new student. Well apparently they don't trust one of the teachers with another student because she was dismissed, two already have the max limit, one is a long-term sub, one we are not sure why and then there leaves me. So I had to copy one more of everything, assigned groups to the student, get an extra desk, rearrange my room to fit one more, etc... Having a new student is a lot of work. Twenty-two students!!! Can I handle this??


One more day without JPAS:)

Good, Exhausting Day

I am sooooo tired. I almost fell asleep in my class today after work. I was so tired that I mistaked the janitor for a teacher. Aye aye aye! Anyway I had six kids gone today. The day went great! I get observed daily either by my principal, mentor, someone at the district office, my coach, or a visiting principal. Sometimes more than one show up at once. The pros: if your kids are doing well and are interacting with you, you get a good rating and when it comes time to do layoffs, you have more than one person who can go to bat for you. Also if your kids are doing well and you are teaching well than your principal gets to brag about you. Cons: If your kids are not doing well, it is the opposite of the above statements. Honestly except for JPAS, I have aced every other observation from college to now. I just wished I would not have failed the only observation that determines if I stay in the district or not.


Anyway my kids were great for both observations--thank heavens! We got everything accomplished and it was an overall successful day:)

Good Times are Back!

Well these last two days have been great! My principal came in and talked to my class. She told them and I told them that I am not going anywhere. We had a discussion on some of their questions and fears. Wow I felt horrible! They have been scared of so many things. So for the most part, they are back to normal. Hopefully they will stay that way for JPAS so I can continue having a job (and of course them learning;) We made ice cream yesterday and they loved it. They each got to make their own individual bag and it was fun to watch them make it for the first time. Plus, they practiced their measuring skills and science. We also measured ourselves on butcher paper. They are sooo cute:)


I had three observations today and I did great! Wow thank heavens my kids are back! I also started my Spanish in Real World class. Ahh hopefully my students do well on their measurement test tomorrow. Cross your fingers. When we reviewed, they seemed like they all knew it. Funny quote of the day: Me:"______ how did you get that answer? Child: I looked forward and did not look at anyone's board this time." Of course my principal was in there and started cracking up laughing with me. He just admitted he had been cheating and did not realize it. Kids say the darndest things.


Oh happy day:))

My kids are plotting against me...seriously!

So my kids were horrible today and I was so close to yelling. But I didn't. Yes I know I just started a sentence with but, but I wanted to make a point. Anyway, we discovered that my kids are mad at me and are punishing me. They all decided they are not going to listen to me...anything that I say and therefore not learn. What happened is I left in the middle of the day to go be sick in the privacy of my own home and bathroom. Well apparently the sub did not come so they were abandoned or so they felt. I came back and they decided to punish me. I had a near perfect class, I got sick and then dun..dun...dun..dun...terrible class. My kids are emotionally traumatized. They just were letting their guard down and then I left them and now my class hates me. So I asked my principal to come in and explain it to them. The worst part is the parents think that I am going to quit as well or got fired so they are telling their kids. Why did I have to get a traumatized group? I love each and everyone of those kids but they are a. not allowing me to pass JPAS and b. making me feel like I want to quit.

TGIF

I have never been so grateful for Friday to come. I had my "meeting" with my observer to discuss my bad lesson. Yep, he agreed it was horrible but he used professional terms to I guess make me feel less pathetic, "there is definite room for improvement." I wanted to scream, cry, puke, run, etc... that it is not my fault. So he discussed ways I can improve and suggestions. I still was feeling like I mentioned above but I swallowed all of that and thanked him and promised next time he will see a good lesson. I spoke to my principal and the two of them put me on an intervention. Which means I will be observed daily by my principal, my coach and possibly this visiting principal until I improve. Perfect. Oh well there is nothing I can do or they can do so I just have to suck it up and do it. I also had a parent meet with the new principal but nothing was accomplished so I was mad. What is it with me being frustrated and angry now. I didn't use to experience those emotions. Now it seems like one thing or another frustrates me or makes me downright mad.

Ahh sometimes things are not so glamorous as a first year teacher.

What a freakin long day! Oh my gosh!! Ok so I decided to go back to work...big mistake! I walk in to find my room a complete disaster. I mean even my personal things were strewn about. I am guessing the substitute because I know my kids would not do that. Then I find my boss wanting to talk to me. Apparently my sub did not show up when I left early. Perfect. Then I got a parent phone call and another parent came in to see if I was fired. My goodness I take one one sick day and everyone thinks the worst. The parent thought that she got me in trouble or fired because she saw a immediate opening for a first grade teacher. My boss and I could not stop laughing. Then my mentor came in with an assignment that I have to do by the end of May. This all happened before school started. I suddenly wanted to go back to bed.


Then my kids were horrible today. I guess with all of the subs, they forgot how to act. So I decided to just get through the day. After all, it was not like anyone was going to observe me my first day back. Right? Wrong!! After recess, my principal walks in from someone from the district to do what? JPAS me! Yep, the biggest observation of my career. Am I ready? Nope. I suddenly get my flu-like symptoms back--all of them. I have many thoughts running through my head. How am I not going to throw up in front of them or worse? I thought of running away? I thought of faking a heart attack, seizure, etc... Then I decided to just go face the music and do my best. Mistake #2--it was horrible. My kids were horrible. I had to kick kids out pretty much. I had to do so many things as nauseous as I was and I wanted to scream at my kids. They have NEVER been that bad. I wanted to cry. So I talked to my boss afterwards and she didn't seem to be hopeful that I passed. She just said well if you did not, we will help you. 


So I think I am good to go, right? Mistake #3--I check my email and find out one of my observers wants to discuss it with me early tomorrow. So I cleaned and sanitized my room, wrote lesson plans, and went to Walmart for our St. Patrick's Day celebration tomorrow. Before I left, I was asked to proofread a recommendation letter for my team lead. I am so exhausted!


Good thing: I acted out the "Three Little Pigs and kept my students engaged for 1 hour! I didn't pass out or throw up.

Sick Day(s)

Yep, I went to school without a voice and when I threw out my neck, but this time I had no choice but to go home sick. I will spare you the details but lets just say I lived in the bathroom until they could find me a sub (which took 2 hours) They told me that if they could not find me a sub, I had to stay. "Ok I will just have my kids read all day while I date the toilet," I thought to myself. Luckily my team sent me home and they found someone. They also got me a sub for tomorrow. So I had to write sub plans and email them to my team lead, reschedule all of my observations and take off tomorrow. Ahhh it is so much easier to be sick when you are not a teacher. I feel so bad for my kids having all of these subs. I just hope and pray that they do ok and it does not affect their learning.


I don't take sick days!

Overall good day:)

So today was good. We discussed changes with my class, I got a new coach, and school went overall smoothly. It really is weird having your friend as your principal, especially when we are trying to be professional: Mrs._________ and Miss Newbold instead of Natalie and ________. She even stepped out of her jeans and casual clothes to a dress. It was weird:) I suddenly realize that I don't want to be an administrator anymore...she was in meetings until the cows came home today.


Lesson reflections: We did bum writing where they pretend their bottoms are a pencil. Then they write their spelling words with them. I saw it done at another school. What an ab workout! I also taught capacity in math with real life objects. Oh my goodness, they loved it! Hopefully it sunk in. I was using one container that I think was growing mold. So when I opened it, I about threw up. So my entire class wanted to smell it on their way to their desks. Hey science right? Speaking of science, we watched a science movie with popcorn making all of the other first graders jealous. But hey my kids were angels last week especially for a substitute. So we have a popcorn maker at school (the kind at a movie theatre), so I thought hey a free party plus it is educational. I apologized to our janitor and offered to vacuum my room. It was awesome and I brought extra salt and let them independently pour it. They loved it!


I also introduced debate to my kids for the first time. It had some kinks but for the most part, it went very well. They are learning about opinions. My sentence was: "Everyone in Vernal likes dinosaurs!" I love the points they came up with. Even first graders have strong opinions. I started the lesson by saying some  emotion-rising statements like, "girls are better than boys," (I did have one boy agree - bless his heart)", "people who cry are wimps," etc... At first they wanted to agree with me because who wants to argue with the teacher. Than some brave souls told me they did not agree and the class soon followed. 


Overall it was a good day and it is past midnight and I am EXHAUSTED:l

What in the world!

So I had a great last day of the conference. I starred in a play, went line dancing, painted a portrait, and participated in a drum circle. Ahh the many hats of a teacher! No, it was very relaxing and fun. Then we got out early so I ordered Chinese food. I kept having this nagging feeling that I needed to go to work immediately. So I grabbed my food and booked it over there praying I would not get a speeding ticket. I walked in the door and just like last time I walked in the door, I was given some horrible news. Why do I ever leave...nothing good comes from it. I was told to go hug my principal because it is her last day! I about started to hyperventilate. I asked who the new principal was and I was told it would be my coach! What!??? So now my coach is my boss and my boss is my coach. I just sat there in shock literally ready to puke. For those who are close to me know that I do not do well with change and my body reacts violently to it. I grabbed my food and went to another teachers room because I could not be alone.


I found her and hugged her. I told her thank you for taking a chance on me. I started crying. Then she left and I was pulled in by my friend and new boss. I congratulated her and asked her how this was going to work for me. She told me she is still my coach but I will only be getting evaluated once a week instead of twice. She also told me that probably the superintendent or someone in his office is going to do my JPAS.


Then I get back to that teachers room to finish eating. When she tells me that she had just gotten laid off. That is why I got pulled into the conversation with my coach so my former principal could lay off the teacher I was with. I was shocked even more. I felt guilty for not being laid off because I have been here shorter than anyone and I was told I would be staying. I sat and listened to her vent and cry. Then even though none of us wanted to go to this district meeting, we went (mostly because we had to go). We drove 60 miles and went to it. Everyone was there talking about the change and venting to each other. It felt like we were morning somebody's life. Then I got recognized in the meeting because of my winning lesson and plan. I felt horrible because I had a very good day with the recognition, starring in the play, getting reimbursed from the district, having someone who I thought hated me but found out does not come and be super nice, but everyone around me did not so I did not. Everyone I get close to here, leaves me...without even a goodbye. That hurts.

Tired

Well I went to my arts core class where they teach you how to integrate all of the arts into what you teach everyday. Oh my goodness, I am so tired and sore. We sang, danced, drew, and performed a play in 8 hours. I was begging to leave...I was so tired. Then I went to school to see how things went. I heard my sub was fantastic! I hope the kids felt the same way:) I found out that the sub that I "fired" called today to talk to another of my team members. She said that she supported me and refused to call her back. My principal agreed with her. I also found out that anything that my principal wants me to do or whatever, she asks the teacher next to me to tell me. There has only been one time. She also is having her spy on me. Thank heavens that teacher loves me and has been reporting positive things:)

Moving on

Well I am trying to move on the best I can but it is still so hard. I want to go talk to her and tell her everything great that is happening to me. Only, she is not there to hear it. I am not keeping my feelings in...I am talking through them. I hate seeing what it is doing to her kids...destroying them. I hate it. I am so mad at the situation, I want to scream! How could she do this even after watching what the other teacher did to my kids! How can you love your kids and walk out on them? Her kids come to me in interventions just withdrawn and sad. They want to talk about it. They want to express their feelings. Now their substitute is going through many of the same challenges as I went through (see past blog posts). Maybe I was supposed to go through them to help her know how to deal with them. A similar incident happened on my mission. I had a horrible lesson and was crying. The next week, my companion had the same experience, so I knew how to help her. Actually that happened many times throughout my mission. Anyway I sent my coach over to help her as she has helped me. I wish I could show her how to do some things but I have my own class to teach.


Ok enough of that, I got a 90% on my last lesson and it was in the afternoon. So 98% in the morning and 90% in the afternoon: I can deal with that! Ok so two of my hardest students weren't there and if they had been, my percentage would have changed, but I will take the win:) No my kids are behaving so much better and learning so much. I am so proud of them! My coach is noticing it as well. I thought I was a good teacher and at times thought I did not need any help, but I can tell that I am getting better as well! JPAS did not happen this week either. :) So now that my kids are doing well, I need to help this substitute get her kids to do well as well.


Today and tomorrow they are going to have a substitute. I hope she is better than the last one and treats them with care and kindness. I hope they are respectful and obedient to her as well. I hope the lessons get taught and the days go smoothly. I hope that I learn a lot at this conference that can help my students. I hope that my coach will be able to help the substitute while I am gone. I hope they can work out all of the kinks and bugs with discipline and management. I just hope everyone has a great day!


Other news: I am studying for the Millers and actually doing well. I still am worried that my letters of recommendation for grad school won't be done in time for summer but I guess that is where faith and persistence comes into play. I am having my team leader, my principal, and my mentor do one. All they basically have to say is whether or not they think I can handle grad school. I also have to write my essay which I plan to do this week or weekend of why I want to go to grad school. Then hope and pray that I get accepted. Once accepted, apply for scholarships--all before April 1. Hopefully everything goes as planned. If not, there is always next semester.

No students but twice the work!

So today was a professional work day where we still had to go to work but the students were not there. The moment I walked inside I could tell it was going to be a "horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day."I was pulled into a classroom and was told that one of my favorite first grade team members I work with, quit. She quit like the teacher that I replaced. So we spent most of our day getting everything ready for our classes and hers. 


It felt like I had just found out a good friend committed suicide. I felt like I should have seen the warning signs. Every time I passed by her room or had to go inside it, I just started bawling. She didn't even say goodbye. As silly as this sounds I am going through the grieving process pretty hardcore. Actually as embarrassing as this is to admit, I got violently ill over it that I went into shock, guilt (like I should have seen it coming), anger (yes I was mad--how could she not say goodbye to me or her kids?, and I am in the state of depression. I did the same thing when an elder from my mission was sent home way too early. The only good thing that came from it was I got free stuff from her room and I hand picked her substitute. I emailed the head people at the district office requesting this substitute and they picked her over someone with a degree based on, I believe, my recommendation. I really did not know I had that much poll at the district office.:)


Tomorrow I have at least one observation and maybe JPAS. I am even too tired to study for MATs. Although I took some practice tests yesterday and did very well so hopefully... G'Night:)

Dr. Seuss' Birthday!

Even though we are celebrating Dr. Seuss all next week, we still had fun today. We had Smokey the Bear and a friend read, "The Lorax" with the first grade. It also was pajama day so I slept in an extra hour and wore my pjs to work:) I have the cutest picture of some of my class and I. I was very impressed with how quiet my kids were at the assembly. All of the other teachers had to move their kids and get after them. Mine I had to remind them to sit on their pockets but other than that, no. I also had to move a gifted child to come and stand with me because he was getting bored and causing problems. Then all of my tough kids wanted to stand with me.


One thing about me is I really try to not just punish my students but find out why they did what they did and get to the root of the problem. So with this student, he was acting out because he was bored. If I would have just said,"_________ sit up or you will clip down when we get back or whatever," I would have taken care of the surface of the problem. However, since I realized the root of the problem, I sent him out to get a drink and to stand by me. The behavior instantly was fixed and there was no hurt feelings or un-necessary punishment. Secret: I secretly love it when I bring my kids in from recess or we are walking somewhere and all of the other teachers are yelling at their kids to be quiet and I get to brag about my kids and say how quiet they are. Yep, I act sort of prideful in that moment.


Then the end of the day, we watched Dr. Seuss', "Chasing Rainbows while they created their own. I don't usually let them color because I think it is a waste of time when they have an art teacher, so this was a privilege for them and they loved it. After school, I went to a confrontations class. Which was good, because later I had to call the bad sub and request she not come back. It was hard. She was mad. She yelled, but I have to do what is best for my kids.

Day off--well sort of

So today my coach and I went to other schools for me to watch them. It was great! I got to see what I could be doing, what I am already doing and what I don't want to do. Then we went out for Chinese food, which I had been craving. It was good to take a break from my kids and spend a day with adults. Plus I learned a ton. Unfortunately, when I came back, I realized my students had been mistreated by their substitute and did not follow my lesson plans at all. Ahh I was so frustrated and starting to get angry, an emotion that I almost never show. I guess when it comes down to my little uns, if someone mistreats them, I become very defensive. I had someone today say, "when are your kids going to get it and stop leaving a mess." I suddenly became very defensive. No one says that about my kids except for me!

What a day!

Well my JPAS did not happen today and I have off tomorrow so yay!! My biggest problem was to keep my students engaged for the entire day, not just 6 hours. So I used my budget to buy every child 50 connecting cubes for today's lesson (and many more to come). They loved them and every child mastered that concept. I also let them use pretend money to solve their money story problems. Ahh I love math manipulatives and it keeps them engaged forever! My student that was suspended came back with such better behavior:)


I was hoping to leave early and then I was told I needed to do my report cards. So I am thinking it will take 30 min top right? Nope, try nearly 3 hours! All I wanted to do was go to the gym and relax after work. Then I decided to stop off and get food with some other teachers. Another mistake! The service was so bad and a bunch of people who make idiot decisions worked there. Ahh I didn't get home until almost 10:00 pm. Anyway, I am so excited for my day off but I hope the sub treats them well.

Where is the other half of my class?

So I only had 15 students at the end of the day. My class was so quiet and nice. Everything just went so much better. However, now tomorrow I have to re-teach everything I taught today because of how many were absent. Plus, I think I am going to get JPASed tomorrow because I got the instructions in my box. I hope not but I will try to get prepared. At least I have off Thursday...a much needed vacation. Everyone tells me I have the hardest job: first grade and the middle of the year. That is such an understatement. I am drowning and with all of the stress of being observed twice a week adds to it. However, my students that were withdrawn and shy are suddenly on fire! Also, they are waiving a requirement for grad school so I can start this summer:))

Worries and Suspensions

So I had two children suspended today. Am I the worst teacher in the world? Who has that many kids suspended in one day? I also finished my observations this week, I hope. See, I am due for JPAS so if my principal does not come in tomorrow or Wednesday, I am home free for another week. Nevertheless, I will try to be prepared as possible. I am so tense all of the time worrying about my kids every moment of the day and kicking myself for not being a perfect teacher. At this rate I am going to burn out at tenure. I am too exhausted to write anything else.

A very good, loooonnnnnggggg day!

I was at the school at 6:30 preparing for my math lesson that went sooo well. I actually got in the green instead of the red for my observation with my coach. I agreed. My kids were so well behaved today that they earned so many points. I love Fridays! I graded most of my writing benchmarks and went home at 8. I am exhausted with a capital E! G'night:)

No se

Well I had my behavior intervention meeting with a student and both sets of parents and the principal. It went surprisingly well. We got a lot accomplished. I was so proud of myself for using everything I had learned in communication classes in the meeting and my principal was as well. I used "I-messages" such as, "I feel sad when I am trying to teach you and you don't want to learn." I also used active listening techniques such as, "So what your saying is..." Most everyone was on board and my principal was behind me the entire time. However one of the parents did not want us to do any kind of reward system. He wants to put so much fear into him that he will force him to behave. He came two hours away to be at the meeting!


Oh I had another father come in to watch centers because he thought his student said, "we rotated from different sinners today." I could not stop laughing but the father was very concerned and did not think it was funny. "Yeah, I am going to have them rotate from one sinner to the next!" Oh parents are hilarious:) I also had a meeting after school with the dean of a university for grad school. I was the absolute youngest there looking into masters programs. I felt like a toddler in a high school. I hope to start my masters this summer. 


Let's see, I got another shining observation today from my principal. I had 16/20 students turn in their stories to be graded. I have to have their results for the district tomorrow. So since it was so freezing cold with the wind chill, I kept my kids in for recesses, we finished our stories and the second one, we watched a movie. The kids who wanted to go out could but only two chose that choice. Honestly their favorite reward is time with me: playing games with me or lunch with me, etc... Oh I am so proud of them! I have another observation with my coach tomorrow and the last one did not go well so I am hoping this one does. I also had to leave work early so I have to be there tomorrow at 6:30 am (and I thought a mission was hard;)


Thank heavens for Fridays:)

What a great day!

I don't know all I can say is today was a great day! As teachers, those days don't happen everyday so when they do, we rejoice and we cherish them. The kids were excellent with their behavior and we got a lot accomplished. No joke: even my normally tough kids got to Gold today! Ahh some of the day, I just sat back and watched them like a proud teacher. We began our writing workshop today where you teach them the parts to writing and you let them work at their own pace. I loved it! It was so fun to listen to them, six and seven year olds, going through the writer's process on their own. They worked with a buddy and were little editors and they re-taught what I had taught them. One of a teacher's greatest accomplishment is to facilitate his/her student's learning and let his/her students be independent. It is like letting them fly by themselves or in teacher world, we call it scaffolding.


Then I found out that I will be getting a new student tomorrow! Now I have 21 little ins to take care of on a daily basis. Tonight was a late night (hence the near 12:30 time) but what a good day!

Another wacky day in 1st grade!

Of course I had two more observations and things went ok for the first one (principal) and horrible for the second one. Plus, I had to have my budget audit done so I was working on that in-between teaching. I had a very long, stressful team meeting where I literally afterwards banged my head against the door. I basically have to do more paperwork and live at the school. Hey I already do my laundry there and eat...I mise well move in. They have a kitchen and a shower. 


Anyway, I took them outside and around the school to do a five senses school walk-through. They loved it! Why are all of my lessons before my observations great and during, they are horrible. I had a near migraine for the entire day and lets just say I had a short fuse. No I did not yell but I gave a lot of teacher looks and stern talking-tos. They ate candy, got out of their seat, screamed, etc... and did everything they were not supposed to do. I could not believe it. My observer actually laughed at what they were doing because she could not believe it! After school, I sort-of got in a tiff with my coach. She apparently heard some rumors about how I felt towards her and felt horrible. We had it out for 20 min or so and resolved our issues. I hate the program she uses but love her. She had heard the opposite--big misunderstanding. She thanked me for being honest. Oh I just love her!!

Valentine's Day!

So I was so sick to my stomach this morning because I was so nervous about Valentine's Day with 1st Graders. Wow I used a lot of "sos" in that last sentence. Anyway, it went very well! We dipped strawberries and wrote "how to dip strawberries" papers. We created Valentines, used conversation hearts for math, ate a bunch of candy and cookies and had fun! I had so many parents in my classroom that I could just sit and relax a lot of the day:)) Yahoo!!! 


I was also given my JPAS scores (through the roof high)--yahoo!!! I was so happy I thought I could cry.:) Oh and we had a school-wide lockdown drill and the principal told my class they did a perfect job! I was so impressed as well. They knew what to do and they did it so perfectly:)) Everyone was scared and wanted to huddle by me. It was funny because my tough kids that love making my life hard were the ones who came to me for comfort. Ahhh cute:)) Yeah complement from the principal:))) What a great day!

Fun With Shaving Cream

So the kids were still bouncing off the walls but one of my very hard kids was absent today so things went better. We got all of our tests taken and I was still ready for the week to be over. My plan was to work on their stories but how would I get them to focus with everything crazy happening around them. So I prayed to know what to do and I felt like I should do shaving cream spelling. I thought oh wow this is going to be a disaster picturing shaving cream everywhere especially their faces and no learning taking place. However, I was surprised! They wrote their words and even my children that sit there and don't do anything, participated in this activity. They were so excited and loved it! Yes, they got it all over themselves, their face, etc... but it washes. My only regret is that I didn't take pictures. What a perfect end to a crazy week! Some of the other teachers let their kids do busy work to get some sanity. Also they earned back many of their complements.

What is in the air?

All across my school, the students have been going crazy! They are bouncing off the walls and getting in trouble. Every teacher I talked to today said how "bad" their kids have been acting. When the bell rang for lunch to be over, we all just groaned. My kids were no exception. I wanted to kill them just to have some quiet for two seconds. I am not kidding, they would not stop talking for two seconds. Anytime I tried to do an activity that got them out of their seats, I had to have them go back to their seats. I had to constantly stop and start my lessons to reinforce behavior. I could not believe it. Of course I had two observations today. 


One of my observers noted how impressed they were with my calmness through everything. How I never raised my voice or got mad. Oh well what I thought about saying and doing and what I said and did were two different things. So I am glad that I "handled it well." I sent two kids to another teacher's room to get some peace and quiet. However a positive, I did pre and post assessments with every lesson and they actually learned. I also stated my objectives and did a close to my lesson which I almost never do. I also used, "by the end of this lesson, you will be able to..." which I have never done before but I read it in a book we are reading as a school faculty.


Even with all of the craziness, I still love being an educator:))

Surprise Conference and PE Integration

I arrived at school only to find that I have a conference with a very difficult student's parents. I had heard so many negative things about these parents that I was absolutely terrified. So I arranged people to watch my class and my entire team helped out with my students for the 45 min. conference. However, it was very productive conference. I found out that the parents are amazing and thank heavens they really like me and are willing to work with me. They were relieved that I told them everything. That teacher that I was struggling with on my team and I are getting closer everyday:)) Yahoo!!


I really thought I had patience until I became a teacher. I feel so impatient sometimes and feel bad I can't be a better teacher. I got a tempting job offer in SLC for $5,000 more a year and I am seriously thinking of taking it. However, I also got offered a near full-ride scholarship for a MA in Education right here in Vernal for USU and that is 2 min away from my house. So I am once again confused.. Anyway, I integrated physical education in like every lesson I did today because I haven't been to the gym forever. The kids loved it..I might do it again.


One tired teacher going to bed, g'night:)

Realizing you have so much to learn...

So today actually went pretty well. I had a student with ADHD and his mom lost his pills so to keep me sane, I let him play games all day. I mean he was crazy!!! Then I went to team meeting and a district specialist was there and the principal. Things are going very well and then he says basically who has______ student because he is doing horrible (his words were worse). I said I did and he starts asking me what I am doing to help him. I tell him and I mention he is getting retained. My principal is backing me up to him. He gets so mad that we are retaining him. Then I mention we are looking into special education. He is totally against that as well. So he was telling me everything I should not do but not offering me any suggestions for what I could do. I asked and he said, "that is a tough one, I don't know." I was thinking to myself well I am not allowed to say that I don't know, I have to perform and get results. So let's just say, I was not the nicest person I could have been towards him. Then I just shut down. I basically was told that I am not utilizing my team, not doing everything possible to help my kids, etc... or maybe that is just how I took it. So after realizing I could have not gotten so defensive, I prayed to know what to do: apologize or leave it alone. 


So those who know me, know I have the guiltiest conscience in the world and honestly would never intentionally hurt anyone. I also can only recall two times in my entire adult life that I have ever gotten mad and one was on my mission. Anyway, I decided to swallow my pride and send him a thank you email thanking him for taking his time out of his district duties to help my struggling student. People, I really had to swallow a lot of pride for this email. He made me feel worthless and he embarrassed me in front of my entire team and boss. However, I sent the email anyway. Well he told me that the issues he brought up about me and my student, I will learn in the next three years. I took that as, I am sorry, I forgot that you have only taught for 1 mo and don't know what you are doing yet. I am told I will know what I am doing in about 3 years. He told me I can go to him at any time but to utilize my team.


Also good news, a good 1/3 of my students passed our math test with flying colors! I have never used so many stickers in my life. Also many of them have jumped 3-4 reading levels in one day! I just had to call their parents and practically scream how excited I was! My job is to get all of my students on an H by the end of the year. Well now instead of a few being on close to G, I now have a good 1/2! I could not be prouder of them and their parents. They are all working so hard.


Here is a poem I wrote to describe my feelings about myself right now.


I am a teacher.
I am not perfect.
I have faults. 
I get impatient.
I sometimes wonder if I will ever be a good teacher. 
I deal with new challenges everyday. 
I am a strict disciplinarian.
I expect the world from my students, myself and their parents.
I see miracles happen daily.
Some days I want to scream.
Some days I want to cry.
Some days I want to do cartwheels and jump up and down.
Some days I do all 3 in a hour time.
Some days I teach well.
Some days I just try to get through it.
I love my students more than myself.
I am a teacher and 
I love it!

Near the end of conferences

Well I saw all but five of my students and their parents. Two of my students are getting held back. I was so relieved to hear that. Then when asked who they wanted to teach them next year, they said they wanted me to teach them. Oh goody. So I am probably getting all Spanish kids and them. What a fun year next year will bring:) I did a really fun lesson with learning about =,+, - with hand movements and repetition. I loved it and I came with it on the spot having an hour of unplanned time. Everything was going well, we had 5 min left and then an observer for me came in. 


Are you kidding me? The last five minutes of class for any teacher is the most stressful. You are trying to get papers passed back, the room clean, backpacks, chairs up, and all while maintaining control. Well so far, it has been my weakness. I have tried games, quiet ball, and now I read them a book. Well she came in and they were quietly listening to me read a book and doing great. I said goodbye to them and then had a meeting with my observer. Instead of complementing my class on how much they have grown, she wanted to talk about how 85 percent of my students were off task during my lesson. What is the world? Then she talked about how many discipline problems I had. What? I don't remember any problems or anyone off task. I also didn't follow the 4-1 ratio. For every 1 bad thing you say, you have to say 4 good things or praises. For example, with my class, ____please put your pencil down is "bad." So because I corrected a behavior so we can learn, I now have to find 4 praises to say to make up for that one correction. So instead of me focusing on my students and their learning, I have to constantly think, have I said four praises per correction. Even if I say, "hands down, please just think." That is bad and I have to keep going with the 4. Also if a student gets it wrong, I have to go back to him by the end of the lesson and give him a chance to get it right. So I began to explain how I have chilled more not in discipline but made my lessons more creative and picked my battles. She was like, "yeah so you can get more points." I was thinking, no so I can teach better and they can learn more. I like my coaches and mentors when they help me, not make me more discouraged.


I also had a student of mine get suspended for beating someone up. Luckily I didn't witness it. I was just told about it. I also have another parent that wants their kid out of another teacher's class and so I will get him. He is another "bully." Why do I get the hard kids?

Today was a very good day. I actually accomplished a lot of my JPAS, my students were fantastic, we got a lot of teaching in, and everything went smooth as silk. We even had time to play a memory game at the end of school. Ahh first grade...I am really starting to love it! After school, I had PTC and got to give some very good news to many parents. I love when I get to do that:) Then the night got crazier by the second. I had a parent come to me in tears because she is getting evicted from her apartment. I just held her and let her sob and vent. Then I had to tell another parent that in my opinion, we should hold back her child and have him repeat the 1st grade again. She agreed and said that she has been worried about her son as well. We tried to get him to join us for a conversation but he kept exhibiting the behavior we were discussing so she couldn't come to his defense. I patted her on the back because she left crying. So two crying parents and two way above grade level. What a night! Then my principal and I ate dinner together and I worked on my JPAS. It is near midnight and I am exhausted.


Ahhh life of a first year first grade teacher:)


--Oh and a teacher bought me a spanish book and said the faculty refers to me as the "spanish teacher."

100 Day!

It has been 100 days of school for them (for me: a month tomorrow) and so the whole school had a party. They gave out bracelets, we made 100 day glasses, we sang songs, they created a 100 hand mural, they did activities related to 100, we counted in Spanish to 100, etc.. It was a very fun and surprisingly relaxing day! That is because I had my last JPAS observation right when school started and then it was over. I think it went pretty well except she came in when we were doing bell work. Bell work meaning I don't teach, I take role and they work quietly by themselves. So I quickly had to make a lesson out of bell work! So I decided to correct it out loud, use the word wall, sing, etc...to make a lesson and she loved it! 


So during our party, I had a parent volunteer and she had the painting center under control. So I decided to relax and enjoy my wonderful students and get to know them a little better. I played games with them, I helped decorate valentines for our senior citizens, I let them talk a little louder than normal, I just had fun. Almost by the end of our party, I had most of my students wanting to play a two-player game with me. They crave one-on-one time with the teacher. They would rather miss recess to play with me than with their friends (boys and girls). It was like most of the stress had left my body and I just melted.


At PTC, I had 3 no shows and parents that don't understand that their child is only 7. They expected perfection and were very upset about 1 test score. Wow, their student is reading at a 4th grade reading level. They should be hugging him, not saying that he can do better. Anyway, they left unhappy. Ok don't shoot the messenger! After PTC, I had a 30 min meeting with my principal. She is amazing!! She told me I am doing a great job and gave me some pointers with a few of my students--basically how to deal with them. We talked about her life and her past teaching opportunities. Did I mention how much I love her! She also told me that she likes how I don't send every student that touches another student to her like the other teachers do. I asked her if I could take care of it my way or she needed to see them. She said I could take care of it and she wants me to do it. I had a very well-meaning teacher/friend come in when I was disciplining at recess for some "bothering others." I had them read the sign of how to not be a bully and ask them if any of those words said hit others back, etc.. I helped them know what to do the next time they get angry and told them to go play. She was stunned how I didn't yell at them or take them to the office. She said she is a no-tolerance teacher where any fighting and you are in the office.


Anyway, today was a good day except it is near midnight and I am working on my JPAS report that is so far near 20 pages due on Friday. Ahh life of a new teacher!

J Whato

So after coming to school anyway with a hurt neck (because I thought I could just wing today), I was asked to help a substitute who was not left plans. About 5 min before school starts, my principal comes in to tell me she is going to JPAS me today. JPAS is the observation that allows you to get a level 2 license in 3 yrs. You fail, you are let go. So I was like, "sure come on in." What, I didn't have a lesson plan ready...I was just going to fly at the seat of my pants. However, there she was right before lunch observing me. She gave me a perfect score on the observation and said she would finish tomorrow. Oh and I need to have a binder full of documented evidence and other things by Fri. ( I hope she will let me have until Fri since I just found out about it today;) So what a stressor. Here I am with a hurt neck, a somewhat better voice but not perfect and I am getting one of the most important evaluations of my career. Glad that went well:)


The kids were not the greatest while she was in there. They were great up until and after but during, aye aye aye. She wrote on my observation, most of the kids were with you. So afterwards I vented to my team about how I thought I failed. They told me that my principal loves me and that they all think I am doing an amazing job. Direct quote, "You have your sh--together. Ahh thanks ladies:)) Who would have known my dream job and boss would be out in the middle of nowhere. Oh I also applied for a grant and was awarded the money today. Yeah now we can get a rug for circle time!!


Parent Conferences are tomorrow with the principal there! Wish me luck:))

Have Fun!

This post is boring. I worked an 15 hour shift and I am tired. My voice was about the same today and I had two more observations. I passed both of them this time with flying colors! I decided to go back to being the fun, creative teacher that I was before I got so stressed and just have fun. My class earned a PJ party so we played some games and they wore their PJs. We got a lot done and I integrated art into writing with our narratives we are working on. We used popsicle sticks to frame stories to teach pronunciation. They looked so cute and I had to hang them up for conferences. Speaking of conferences, I have so many reports that I have to prepare to show growth of my students. The class is doing a lot better with procedures and behavior. I can also see my growth as a teacher from a student teacher to now. I also found out that my progress as a teacher was talked about at community council meeting today. So now I am official member of this community. I am not sure exactly what was said, all I know was I was on the agenda as the newest member of the school. All of my students are now in my name instead of their last teacher. Sometimes I sit in my classroom and ponder how life used to be before I became a full-time teacher.

Well good night:)

Act Like A Second Grader!

Today my voice was a lot better...still not normal but better. Thank Heavens for that:) My students are learning!! I was so excited. My favorite assessment is individual whiteboards. I bought shower board from Home Depot and had them cut it into little whiteboard size for about $1.25 for 40 boards. So cheap compared to $5 a pop anywhere else. The markers were the most expensive. Anyway, so they each have their whiteboard, an old sock they brought from home to use as an eraser and a marker. We have a very strict procedure they have with them. They can't draw on them, etc... Well I use them all day with making words, phonics, and especially math. I just write a problem on the board and I tell them to solve it on their whiteboards. Then I say 3-2-1 show me (I sometimes sing it) and I can in 3.2 seconds see who understands and who doesn't. Then I tell them to put them down and I will ask a few students to explain how they got their answer without saying if they are right or wrong. I just want to see their thinking. Then I will model out loud how I got the answer and I will solve it. We will have a 3 sec cheer for those that got it correct. Then I ask who did not get it correct and ask if they need re-explaining. Well I taught on ones and tens and expanded form..everyone incl. my struggling students got it 1st try! I was so happy..I was high fiving the kids, literally skipping and jumping around, hoping none of the administration walked in at that moment. Of course my students loved it...me making a fool out of myself. I was speaking in Spanish, in English and some made up language I was so happy!! My students are learning:))) 


I received their standarized test scores back and we had a faculty meeting about them. Everyone was like, "oh your students are struggling." Hello, no solid teacher for 3 mo, yeah they are! However, I was thrilled with the test scores. This next sentence I am not writing to say I am a great teacher or whatever, it it is just the facts (I still have a lot to learn). All but two of my kids jumped from failing grades to an equivalent of a C in the 3 weeks I have been there. Ok, yes we are still behind the rest of the first grade but that is huge improvement. In their other tests, they all (but one) jumped 30+ points higher from the week before I came to yesterday!! I could not be prouder!


Yeah so when I came to be observed, she suggested that the children act like 2nd graders because they are nearly second graders. However, my students didn't really understand how they were supposed to act. So I asked my mentor, who is a 2nd grade teacher if we could observe her students for 15 min. She obliged and my students were very impressed with how 2nd graders act. Actually so was I. Now all I have to do to get them to listen is say, "Act Like 2nd graders."


Teaching is a lifestyle, not a job:)

New Goals and No Voice

So I didn't write yesterday because I had a complete meltdown. It was bound to happen right? With all of the pressure and stress that I am under, I am surprised I lasted three weeks. I felt defeated and felt like packing it up and going home. That is what the last teacher did. Once a week I meet with my mentor to discuss everything and I just lost it. Luckily I kept it together until then. That is when my voice started leaving. I had had it! I could not teach anything because as soon as I would try, I would have to deal with 15 different discipline problems. So my mentor told me to set my goals more realistic, be patient with myself and with them and keep being consistent. She also suggested having my coach model a lesson for me and see how she handles my students.


So she did today and my students were the same way for her. She did show me some ways to deal with them. We also talked about how taking care of myself makes me a better teacher. So I am going to try to get more sleep, drink more water, eat healthier and I went back to the gym today. I did it, I admitted I needed help and I got the help I needed and I feel better about everything.


Teaching without a voice can be difficult, especially first grade. Well, on my mission, my voice left for 3 weeks while I was training a greenie and we still managed to do our work. So I continued teaching in anyway that I could and surprisingly we got a lot accomplished and my assessments showed that they learned. My super hard, challenging children are suddenly doing wonderfully. It is amazing how when parents, teachers and students work together, miracles occur. Finally, I was pulled away from my class to go translate in Spanish for a student who just got suspended and his mom didn't understand it. She was so happy and understood me perfectly:) They said that I sound more Mexican with my voice like this. Who knows..anything to help me sound less white.


So I still love teaching even though I had a complete and utter breakdown. I am told it is common your first 1-3 yrs:)

Differentiation is the Key

So as a first year teacher, you meet with your mentor and you set weekly goals based on your district's standards. Well my goal this week was to differentiate or teach one lesson in 3-4 different ways based on abilities. It can be a daunting task but fortunately the program that we use, differentiates for us. So, I am introducing guided math tomorrow. Where I will teach one lesson and then for homework and independent practice, they will all have different group assignments based on a pre-assessment I gave today. So I hope I can reach all of their needs because I need to get their grades up. Plus, they need to learn this stuff:)


Anyway, I was very stressed and impatient today. Plus, imagine "Finding Nemo,"all of the little birds saying "Mine, mine, mine, mine." Ok that is how today was for me. All of my first graders were shouting Miss Newbold and wanting my help all day long. I was so glad for the day to be over. Things were just crazy from the beginning. I was just trying to get ready for the day, feeling lousy, and parents wanted to talk to me, etc... Oh my goodness. The other first grade teachers say they had the same day:) So, I pretended to be patient and sweet, but oh I almost lost it. Just imagine the seagulls in Nemo for 7 hrs straight and see how sweet you are at the end;)

Fights and sickness

Well I love Fridays because for whatever reason, the kids are on their best behavior. We learned how to properly take tests and we had our lockdown and tornado drill. The kids were surprisingly mature especially when I talked about how we would have to use a bucket as a toilet. I know right but it is a district policy to explain everything. The only time they laughed is when we were talking about what would happen if they were in the bathroom when it happened. I was very impressed and after 3 times, we perfected it. I corrected their tests and they did horribly. Granted, I didn't begin this unit with them but oh my goodness I have a lot of work to do.

I had to go over my really bad observation yesterday, today and well let's just say, I felt like a terrible person. I found out that I scored so poorly and it goes in my permanent file. They said they would take in account that it is my 2nd week teaching and that I did not have time to teach procedures. Whatever, I am getting a cold so I really was not in the mood to find out what I did wrong. I then realized that I am in an adult job and evaluations are a part of any job. I was defensive but I decided to suck it up and keep it to myself. I accepted responsibility, promised I would try harder and she said she would come back next week. I didn't want to say anything but she didn't tell me when she was coming, like she said she would.

Then I planned as a team and I found out that our team is divided, has issues with each other and had a full on fight today. Everyone is feeling overwhelmed and tempers are getting hot. I just tried to mediate and hear each member vent. Then I went and locked myself in my classroom and just cried. I think I am just blowing everything out of proportion and taking everything seriously because I am sick. I just feel like I am working hard and getting nowhere. I am there until 9 or 10 every night and still got a bad observation rating.

Today was just a bad day for me (my students were near perfect especially my hardest student) Teachers say that some days are like that even after many years of teaching.

Trainings and observations

So I had my three observations today of many. I am told I will have at least one a week. The first one was from my principal and she rated me super high in everything! She did not have one suggestion on how I could improve. However, she thinks that some of my children need to be held back or in special education. I could not agree with her more. So we had a nice, long talk about how to do that. She said though that I handled every situation correctly and that I have hard kids. I appreciate a principal that does not think that everything is the teacher's fault.


Then I had an amazing class until my second observation. The kids were in a word: terrible. Well their behavior was that. Very few were on task and no one knew their basic math facts so I had to review and could not get to my objective. Surprisingly, I got rated high on that one too because I was consistent and assessed correctly, etc.. So while I wanted to cry during everything, the administration thinks that I am doing a fantastic job. Go figure! I also had the superintendent's assistants come into my room to make sure it was clean, had correct posters, etc...


Then I got to meet the mother of my soon-to-be new student. Well she is very frustrated with how her student is being treated by his current teacher and she went on and for my entire lunch period. I ate a little bit but nothing big because I wanted to remain professional. So I finished my lunch as I was teaching. I could feel her frustration so we discussed my high expectations and she chose me to be her child's teacher out of all the first grade teachers. Wow what an honor! I didn't tell her that it is only my 2nd week teaching. 


After school I had a meeting at the district office and a training on how to use Youtube in the classroom. In my district, it is on the restricted list and therefore you can't access it. This training allows me to have permission to use it. So what a busy day! I knew it would be though. I now have parent helpers daily and this new student's mom said she wants to help as well. My aide is more on the ball...things are getting better:) Oh and I finally finished my class job chart and I really like it how it turned out.